The first thing Mimi O’Donnell did every time she arrived in London was take Darjeeling tea at
Annabel’s. She didn’t particularly like tea – a longneck bottle of beer would normally have
suited her just fine – but the beverage somehow helped her transition from Texas belle to
English rose…well, half-English rose anyway. If there was one good thing to come out of her
being the daughter of the esteemed British foreign correspondent and sometime television
presenter Tucker O’Donnell, it was the privilege of being able to assume a British accent with
some actual legitimacy, unlike other Americans she had known who had tried to pull off the
same but more often than not ended up sounding more pretentious than authentic, or rather
just confused. If there was one thing Mimi O’Donnell was not – at least as far as she was
concerned – was pretentious. Or confused. It was the Texan in her that kept her grounded. She
wasn’t Stella McIntosh’s daughter for nothing.
And while she rarely kept anything from her mother, on this occasion, Mimi had opted to
keep her travel plans a secret. That was the thing about her parents’ relationship. Mimi could
never predict the dynamic between them. The last thing she wanted was for Tucker to get wind
of her scheme and try to influence her otherwise. She was already regretting having said
anything to Tanner. He wasn’t unpredictable as much as stupid and his allegiances were murky
at best. Tanner did what suited him when it suited him. The family and the preservation of its
integrity never entered his head. But Mimi, in contrast, liked to think of herself as being all
about the family. That’s why she was in London now. It was for the integrity of her family that
she was there to take Chloe Templeton – her daddy’s longest lasting paramour – as far down as
she could take her, and by any means necessary.
Mimi’s plan was contingent, of course, upon Chloe not recognizing her. But she didn’t
think there was much chance of this happening. It had been years since the last time she and
Chloe were in the same room as each other and that had been for only the briefest of moments
when Mimi was maybe eleven, twelve at most. Tucker preferred to keep his many lives
separate. He’d agreed to pick Mimi up at JFK en route to Heathrow and the summer Mimi was
meant to spend with him at his family’s shooting estate in Aberdeenshire. Conveniently for
Tucker – if not for anyone else – he’d been in New York “on assignment.” When Mimi had
arrived off the plane from Dallas-Fort Worth, in the company of her airline minder, and met
her father as arranged at the First Class British Airways ticket counter, he’d been in the
company of an arresting yet deceptively mousy young Englishwoman wearing the most
voluminous pussy bow blouse and a tartan mid-length skirt whose hem came down just over
the top of her DuBarry’s. What had left the biggest impression on the ever-impressionable
pre-teen Mimi were the boots, the tartan beret, and how cold the young woman had been
towards her. It was clear her daddy’s friend wasn’t at all pleased to meet her. In fact, it had
seemed to Mimi that in
an ideal world, their meeting would never have taken place. Tucker had looked as surprised to
see his daughter as his daughter was to see her daddy’s friend, which hadn’t made any sense
since Mimi had spoken to her father just the day before and all the arrangements had been set.
But there he was looking as if he was suffering from a particularly bad case of IBS and had
forgotten to take his Immodium, or whatever it was that you were meant to take when suffering
from such symptoms.
“Hello, darling,” her daddy had said, grinning through his evident discomfort.
“Howdy, Tuck.” Mimi had always been on a first-name basis with her father, and ‘Tuck’
was her diminutive for him, one that he allowed her and no one else to use, or so he claimed.
“Mr. O’Donnell?” the airline minder had asked.
“Oh yes, yes, thank you.” Tucker fumbled in his pocket for a wad of cash that he
deposited rather roughly into the airline minder’s hand. “You’re a doll. Thanks so much for the
trouble. I trust my daughter behaved herself and you didn’t let her have too many Coca-Colas.
She went through a phase not long back where she was obsessed with those airplane Coke
bottles. You know the ones, rather miniature…like this.” He estimated the length between his
hands. “I believe they’re collector’s items.”
“Thank you, Mr. O’Donnell,” the airline minder said, no doubt dazzled by the amount of
dollars she now gripped in her hand. “Your daughter was as good as gold.”
“Black gold I hope.” Tucker laughed uproariously, embarrassing Mimi because she knew
he only laughed like this when he was extremely uncomfortable. “I mean, she is from Texas
after All.”
“Sure, Mr. O’Donnell,” the airline minder laughed along. “I’ll be going now. Have a safe
Flight.”
Through the entire awkward exchange, her daddy’s friend had just stared at her: her
brown eyes piercing and inscrutable. Mimi had stared back.
“Yes, well, shall we, darling? We don’t want to miss our flight.”
“Sure, Tuck.”
“Right. Just give me one second, darling. Erm…to say goodbye to my friend, who was so
good to make sure I got to the airport in time. Just – erm – stand right there and I’ll be back
before you can even say ‘tally-ho!’”
Another awkward laugh, more a guffaw this time. Mimi shrugged. She watched as her
father took his friend by the elbow and escorted her across the hall to the windows. His friend
continued to stare at her as she allowed herself to be led. Mimi waited. Her father and his
friend exchanged some words, they embraced, and then his friend – who looked like she was
crying – went through the automatic doors and disappeared into the line of people waiting at
the taxi stand and Mimi never saw her again. Well, not in person anyway.
“Sorry about that, darling,” her father had said when it was just the two of them and a
sense of equilibrium had been restored.
“Who was that, Tuck?” Mimi had asked.
“Who, darling?”
“That woman.”
“Oh?” Her father blinked in his blustery manner and shrugged, assuming an air of
nonchalance that the twelve year-old Mimi didn’t buy for a second. “Just some copy girl from
the bureau. My editor insisted she escort me from the office. He knows what a willy-nilly I am.
I’m hopeless. Put me in a room by myself and I’d never be able to find the door.”
“Why was she crying?”
“What’s that, darling?”
“What did you say to her to make her cry?”
“Oh, that. Oh, yes, well, it was her contact lens, I believe.”
“Her contact lens?”
“Yes, darling. An errant contact lens.”
And that was the story her father had stuck to.
Flash forward nearly twenty years and here Mimi was, sipping a cup of steaming
Darjeeling tea in the only private member’s club in the world worth belonging to, at least as far
as Mimi was concerned, and she was after all a bit of an expert on such things. She was nervous
and excited and hopeful that her plan would go off without a hitch. Perhaps a whisky to calm
her nerves? No, whisky made Mimi sloppy and sloppy was the last thing she could afford in
front of Chloe Templeton at this stage of the game. For it was a game, Mimi thought. Life was a
game. And in this game, there was only one winner. Mimi couldn’t afford runner-ups.
She glanced at her watch. Three twenty-seven. They’d arranged to meet at half-three. Of
course there was no guarantee Chloe would even show. And Mimi conceded the premise of her
request for this meeting was tenuous at best even though she and Tanner both agreed there
was a certain brilliance to it, however improbable. Ballsy, is what Tanner had called it. But then,
Mimi had always taken pride in the size of her balls. She always claimed she had the biggest
balls in the entire O’Donnell/McIntosh clan. Well, second only to Stella’s of course, but that
went without saying.
The tea was pleasingly rejuvenating. It made Mimi feel English which made her feel like
she was more than capable of launching the first foray into her assault upon the Templeton
family. She knew from what she’d read that Chloe was the quintessential Tatler-deified “It Girl,”
though as far as Mimi was concerned, Chloe was getting a bit long in the tooth to still be using
that moniker. She’d also read there was another Templeton-in-waiting who it seemed was
aggressively redefining English poshness even if her provenance was being questioned by some.
The young and sassy Tessa Templeton intrigued Mimi. She was the kind of girl that Mimi
wouldn’t have minded buddying around with. She had a feeling – again based only on what
she’d read as well as some of the photos she’d seen – that she and Tessa, if left to their own
devices, could have a lot of fun and leave a lot of trouble –the best kind of trouble – in their
wake. But she was getting ahead of herself. One step at a time.
Mimi wondered what time it was in Dallas. She was bored waiting. She wanted to call
Tanner. She missed Tanner when they were apart even though he pissed her off to high heaven
when they were together. She was his yin to her yang, or something like that. And there was no
point in calling Devontae. He wouldn’t have picked up anyway, too busy chasing pussy when
Mimi was away. The greater the distance between them, the less Mimi felt theirs was a
relationship worth sustaining. And besides, beyond his obvious attributes, Devontae really had
very little to offer her. Even his music was – despite Tanner’s best efforts, bless him – derivative.
He was no Stormzy, that’s for sure. So with no one to distract her, Mimi took another sip of her
Darjeeling and hoped Chloe wasn’t one of those types who took pride in being “fashionably
late.” Mimi despised tardiness in others, much as she tolerated it in herself.
But thankfully she didn’t have long to wait. For right on the dot of half-three, Chloe
Templeton strode into the tearoom at Annabel’s, dressed to the height of perfection – if
somewhat predictably – in a black Chanel pantsuit and “sensible” black Celine kitten-heeled
pumps. She looked flushed and out of breath and older in person without the gloss of
Photoshop: impressive yet, Mimi thought, not impenetrable. It was the spider’s web of wrinkles
at the corners of each eye, and the slight fleshiness beneath her chin that belied her age. Still, it
was important to take the upper hand from the start. Mimi didn’t believe in playing catch-up.
“Chloe?” Mimi asked. She stood up and with a smile as wide as the Lone Star State, she
kissed Chloe on both cheeks while suppressing the urge to hug her. “I can’t tell you how excited
I am to finally meet you.” She also had to suppress the tendency toward a Southern drawl when
she was nervous and, to her dismay, Chloe Templeton in the flesh made Mimi O’Donnell more
nervous than Mimi O’Donnell would have ever cared to admit.
Chloe arranged herself on the chair opposite. She sat with her back ramrod straight,
both feet squarely placed on the floor. She looked as though she had a stick up her ass or had
inhaled a bad smell. Her eyes were damp – like she’d been crying. It was the smudged mascara
that gave her away.
“I took the liberty of ordering tea,” Mimi chattered. “I hope you like Darjeeling. Shall I?”
Mimi poured without waiting for Chloe to reply. She willed her hand to be steady as she
tipped the teapot over the cup.
“I can’t stay long,” Chloe said.
“I wouldn’t dream of keeping you,” Mimi replied.
“I don’t know if you’ve heard but my dear Papa passed away just the other day. It’s only
been a week but it feels like a lifetime.” Chloe sighed. “I don’t know if you’ve ever lost anyone
dear to you, but this kind of grief is prolonged torture. I don’t think I can bear it.”
“I’m so very sorry for your loss.” This wasn’t quite how Mimi had anticipated things. She
pushed Chloe’s cup across the table, careful not to spill any of it into the saucer. “I’d seen some
of the coverage on the telly. Your father was a very impressive man.”
“Yes.” Chloe dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief that Mimi recognized was from
Liberty, which seemed to magically descend out from under the cuff of Chloe’s jacket. “My
father was an icon. Some of the press haven’t exactly been kind.”
Mimi nodded. Sometimes silence was best.
Chloe picked up her teacup and blew on the steam. She appraised Mimi over the rim.
There was almost a flash of recognition in her eyes, but mercifully just a flash. Mimi tensed. It
hadn’t entered her plans that Chloe might recognize her, some twenty years after their one and
only encounter at the British Airways check-in desk at JFK. Mimi didn’t have a Plan B.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe said after a pause, “have we met?”
“What? No, no, I don’t think so.”
“Hmm strange.” Chloe set her cup and saucer down. A frown twitched between her
plucked and penciled brows. “I’m not in the habit of meeting strangers like this for tea. But
lately I’ve been so betwixt and between I just don’t know where my head is anymore. And this
whole disaster with my father and THAT WOMAN and now his will and how she’s taken
everything – EVERYTHING! – I half wonder whether it’s time I offed myself with an overdose of
Percocet and a strong gin.”
“Oh dear,” Mimi said.
“Not that I’m suicidal or anything,” Chloe continued, more to herself, Mimi thought, than
to anyone. “I have to keep reminding myself of who I am and what my family represents. When
you’re a Templeton, you have a certain responsibility – there’s an expectation that you behave
in a particular way, a kind of decorum if you like. Unfortunately, my darling Papa lost his way a
bit toward the end. He allowed himself to be led by dangerous outsiders who filled his head
with all sorts of nonsense and we all just kind of stood there and let it happen. Of course, I can’t
help but blame Diana for a lot of this mess. Well, she and that useless twat of a husband of
hers: Duncan. But then I suppose I should also accept the burden of some responsibility, if only
to be fair. I mean, in the end, it all sort of came down to me anyway. I cast the deciding blow.
It was my vote that banished Guy from the family. But I had to do it. I was left with no choice,
veritably backed into a corner: strong-armed if you will.”
Mimi just sat there, taking in the spectacle without saying a word, not that Chloe ever
took a breath to give Mimi a chance to get one in edgeways. But this was perfect in a way, Mimi
thought. Chloe was quite inadvertently falling into her trap.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe suddenly stopped. She blinked and peered at Mimi, once again with a
glimmer that hinted again at possible recognition, or a jogging of memory. Mimi held her
breath. “I think I’m doing what the Americans call ‘over-sharing.’ I’m actually really quite
reserved. What’s your name again?”
“Magnolia,” Mimi spluttered. Her mind had drawn a blank. “Magnolia Rose.”
“Magnolia Rose,” Chloe repeated to herself. “Hmmm. I suppose with a name like that if I
had met you before I’d have remembered.”
“My mother is – was – of the dramatic persuasion.”
“Your mother’s passed on?”
Mimi didn’t know why she was lying. She thought of her mother then – the very much
alive (though increasingly addled) Stella McIntosh – and felt a tinge of guilt at putting her in an
early grave. She reassured herself with the belief that the less Chloe could find out about her
background – living or deceased, “passed on” rather – the better. She had a feeling Chloe
Templeton could be very thorough when she set her mind to it.
“Tragic and unexpected,” Mimi forged on.
“But death is always tragic,” Chloe said with a sniff, “except when it’s not.”
“Yes.”
“Well, I suppose at this point you have to tell me what happened.”
“Do I?”
Chloe frowned. Mimi gulped, all too aware of her gaffe.
“She was an actress,” Mimi extemporized. “Shakespeare was her thing. But she grew up
in the North, you see…in a mining town…near Sheffield…”
“Have you been to Sheffield?” Chloe asked with a shudder that conveyed exactly how
she felt about Sheffield and, Mimi didn’t doubt, about the North itself.
“I was born there.”
“Really?” The hard, quizzical stare again. “You know my father had a controlling stake in
the football club Sheffield Wednesday for a time.”
“I…I didn’t.” Mimi gulped.
“Believe me, there’s a reason they call it the Black Country.”
“Indeed.”
“Why do I not detect even the faintest trace of a Northern accent?”
“Elocution lessons,” Mimi nearly spat. “Mother insisted I speak the Queen’s – or I guess
now the King’s – English. It was a source of pride for her…especially when she fell upon hard
Times…”
“Life upon the wicked stage,” Chloe said. “It no doubt catches up with you.”
“It was the gin that did it.”
“Mother’s ruin.”
“Let’s just say it did my mother no favors.”
“Hmm.” Chloe took a long, contemplative sip of tea. “Did your mother have as
extraordinary a name as you?”
“Even more so.” Mimi found that she was warming to her fiction. The more she said, the
more the gears of creativity kicked into motion. She almost couldn’t help herself.
“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you.”
“Try me.” Chloe’s eyes flashed in challenge.
Mimi hesitated. Then, in a burst of almost divinely inspired inspiration that she knew
teetered rather precariously on the very edge of credibility: “Dallas,” she said. “Dallas Ewing.
Like the American TV show. It was my mother’s favorite program.”
Chloe seemed nonplussed. “A bit before my time,” she said. “And your father?”
Mimi shook her head. “I never knew my father. My mother didn’t either.”
“Oh my.”
Mimi held her breath. She watched and waited, careful though not to appear too curious
or eager. Things had already become more complicated than she’d anticipated, or welcomed,
despite the fact that she was rather having fun. She couldn’t wait to tell Tanner the story she’d
told the great Chloe Templeton about their parentage, or her parentage rather. Tanner didn’t
figure into the equation.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe said after a pause, “Magnolia…”
“Or Maggie, if you’d prefer.”
“Maggie then.” Chloe sniffed. “I’m sorry, Maggie, I don’t think I’m at all clear exactly on
why we’re meeting like this. I mean, it was in my diary, but to be honest, I’m not sure how it got
There.”
Mimi suppressed a smile. She knew how it got there. Tanner had his uses. He was good
with tech and things like that.
“I’ve been so busy,” Chloe continued, “what with all that’s happened with Papa and that
woman and my foundation and the whole palaver with my brother, I don’t think I’d be able to
find my own head if it weren’t attached to my shoulders.”
“Which is precisely why we’re meeting,” Mimi said.
“Is it?”
“You can’t possibly do it all on your own.” This was the part that Mimi had rehearsed:
the sales pitch going in for the kill. “You know what they say, don’t you?”
Chloe shook her head. Her bafflement was all too obvious.
“Behind every great woman is a great PA.”
“You mean like a personal assistant?”
“You need help, Chloe.” Mimi leaned forward. She clasped Chloe’s rather cold and
bloodless hands in her own, half-expecting her to pull away, pleased that Chloe offered little
more than a flinch and no further resistance. “You’re running yourself into the ground.”
“Yes, I suppose I am rather. I haven’t been to see my trainer in ages. There just isn’t time.
Though I’ve had a mind to fire him. I don’t like some of his other clients, you see. Maximilian
Porter, for example. Do you know him?”
“Of him,” Mimi said.
“Horrible little poof,” Chloe spat her distaste. Mimi took note, filing it away for a rainy
day. “Maximilian cut me down when I was at my lowest. My nadir. Him and that sidekick of
his.”
“Bree Armstrong?” Mimi had done her research. “I think she’s rather fabulous.” Chloe
shot her a look. “I mean, I like her style, if you know what I mean.”
“Not really.”
An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Mimi’s mind raced. She hated silences. As
someone who had never met an awkward pause in a conversation that she didn’t hasten to fill,
Mimi wondered what it was about Chloe that intimidated her so. For that was indeed the word
for it. Mimi was intimidated and she wasn’t someone who was easily intimidated. Throughout
her many careers (albeit most of them too short-lived to really be called careers in the
traditional sense) – including her rather scandal-plagued stint as KDFW’s substitute weekend
sports presenter (where she’d been accused – not necessarily falsely – of trying to sabotage the
return of Annabelle Murillo, KDFW TV’s reigning queen of sportscasters, after her
hysterectomy – Mimi had always taken pride in what she considered an uncanny ability to
carry herself with a certain amount of aplomb in the face of challenging circumstances and
difficult people, a category that fit Chloe Templeton to a T.)
But there was something about Tatler’s former “It Girl” that had Mimi stumped. She
sensed Chloe wasn’t falling for her in the way Mimi needed her to. What was she doing wrong?
Did Chloe suspect her of nefarious intent? Was there indeed a flash of recognition in the fixed
but ambiguous way Chloe looked at her? But how was that even possible? Mimi very much
doubted Chloe had seen any of her guest spots on KDFW’s Number One Sunday Sports
Spectacular at 11 with Annabelle Murillo. And there was even less likelihood Chloe had tuned
into a Dallas Cowboys halftime show when she’d been an alternate substitute cheerleader
(always the bridesmaid never the bride!) even earlier in her career. Mimi thought back to that
moment at JFK so many years ago. Was it possible that she had made as much of an impression
on Chloe as Chloe had made on her? It didn’t bear thinking about. It simply wasn’t possible …
or was it?
“I’m afraid I can’t stay,” Chloe said. She pushed her cup and saucer to the middle of the
table and prepared to stand. “I’m confused and I’ve just remembered I have somewhere else to
A very dear friend of mine is out of hospital today. I have to go to her. She’s staying with me
while she recovers. I’m sparing no expense.”
Fuck!
“So you’ll have to excuse me.”
Mimi started to wonder whether she’d made a mistake in not having a Plan B. London
was an awfully long way to come to find herself down for the count in the first quarter. (Mimi
liked sports analogies.) It really was a shame about KDFW. But Annabelle Murillo (pronounced
Mureeeeeyoh with a dramatically rolled ‘r’) really was such an unforgiving cunt…and a drunk to
boot. A pity Mimi hadn’t put two and two together until it was too late.
“Please don’t go!” Mimi hated the begging squeak in her voice.
“Excuse me?”
Mimi forced herself to take a deep and calming breath. Get a motherfucking grip, girl.
You’ve got this. Smile. You didn’t spend thousands on having your teeth capped not to show
them off.
“What I’ve been meaning to say,” Mimi stammered, “or rather, the reason I wanted to
meet with you today is…” Gulp. “…I need a job.”
Chloe sat down. Score!
“You need a what?” she asked.
“A job.”
“That’s what I thought you said. Blimey.” Chloe adjusted the collar of her jacket, her
composure clearly shot. Mimi gave herself a mental fist bump, her smile fixed and frozen, caps
gleaming. She’d also been a toothpaste model.
“Well, that’s a bit presumptuous, don’t you think?” Chloe asked.
Keep smiling through the tears. That’s what they taught you on television anyway. Mimi
had taken it to heart.
“How so?”
Chloe shrugged. She fluttered her hands in front of her face. She unbuttoned the top
button of her blouse. Mimi knew Chloe was older than her, but didn’t think she was old enough
yet for hot flashes.
“I don’t know.” Chloe looked as though she was about to cry. “I mean, I don’t think I’m
hiring. No, of course I’m not hiring. Frankly, I can’t afford to hire anyone. That woman has cut
off all my funding. S.A.S.S. is on its last legs unless I find investors. And there’s only so much I
can accept from Spencer without it becoming even more awkward than it already is.”
“You don’t need to pay me.”
“Like an intern?”
“You can pay me in experience.”
She was coming round. Time to reel it in.
“Experience doing what?”
“Whatever you need. I’ll be your Girl Friday.”
“My what?”
“You’ve said it yourself you’re going through a challenging time.” Mimi felt that
equilibrium had been restored. She was once again on top. “You’re not in charge of your own
Diary.”
“No. I mean, yes, I did say that.”
“I have excellent organizational skills.”
Chloe blinked. She bit the edge of her thumbnail.
“Isn’t this when I’m supposed to ask you for a CV or something?” Chloe asked. “I’m
afraid I don’t have much experience in this department. Where I come from, jobs are just kind
of given out to the deserving, like patronage I suppose. And we don’t really call them jobs.
They’re grace and favor. It must sound terribly feudal.”
“Your wish is my command.”
“Well, I suppose…”
“I have references too if you need them.”
“Papa always said I was too trusting. He said it was on account of me having a kind
heart. I always look for the good in people, you see. But I’ve been burnt in the past.”
“I would never burn you.”
“Huh.” Chloe frowned and gave Mimi that look again.
Mimi’s smile was so broad she feared her face would crack.
“So what do you say?” Mimi asked. “Shall we give it a go?”
“But I really don’t think I can afford you. Even if you are…free.”295
“And I really don’t think you can afford not to.” Dramatic pause, then: “I hear Bree
Armstrong is on the market for a new PA.” Mimi didn’t know if this was true or not. It just
seemed like the right thing to say.
“Really?”
Mimi nodded gravely.
“Well, in that case,” Chloe sighed. “When can you start?”
Magnolia Rose was all smiles.
The first thing Mimi O’Donnell did every time she arrived in London was take Darjeeling tea at Annabel’s. She didn’t particularly like tea – a longneck bottle of beer would normally have suited her just fine – but the beverage somehow helped her transition from Texas belle to English rose…well, half-English rose anyway. If there was one good thing to come out of her being the daughter of the esteemed British foreign correspondent and sometime television presenter Tucker O’Donnell, it was the privilege of being able to assume a British accent with some actual legitimacy, unlike other Americans she had known who had tried to pull off the same but more often than not ended up sounding more pretentious than authentic, or rather just confused. If there was one thing Mimi O’Donnell was not – at least as far as she was concerned – was pretentious. Or confused. It was the Texan in her that kept her grounded. She wasn’t Stella McIntosh’s daughter for nothing. And while she rarely kept anything from her mother, on this occasion, Mimi had opted to keep her travel plans a secret. That was the thing about her parents’ relationship. Mimi could never predict the dynamic between them. The last thing she wanted was for Tucker to get wind of her scheme and try to influence her otherwise. She was already regretting having said anything to Tanner. He wasn’t unpredictable as much as stupid and his allegiances were murky at best. Tanner did what suited him when it suited him. The family and the preservation of its integrity never entered his head. But Mimi, in contrast, liked to think of herself as being all about the family. That’s why she was in London now. It was for the integrity of her family that she was there to take Chloe Templeton – her daddy’s longest lasting paramour – as far down as she could take her, and by any means necessary. Mimi’s plan was contingent, of course, upon Chloe not recognizing her. But she didn’t think there was much chance of this happening. It had been years since the last time she and Chloe were in the same room as each other and that had been for only the briefest of moments when Mimi was maybe eleven, twelve at most. Tucker preferred to keep his many lives separate. He’d agreed to pick Mimi up at JFK en route to Heathrow and the summer Mimi was meant to spend with him at his family’s shooting estate in Aberdeenshire. Conveniently for Tucker – if not for anyone else – he’d been in New York “on assignment.” When Mimi had arrived off the plane from Dallas-Fort Worth, in the company of her airline minder, and met her father as arranged at the First Class British Airways ticket counter, he’d been in the company of an arresting yet deceptively mousy young Englishwoman wearing the most voluminous pussy bow blouse and a tartan mid-length skirt whose hem came down just over the top of her DuBarry’s. What had left the biggest impression on the ever-impressionable pre-teen Mimi were the boots, the tartan beret, and how cold the young woman had been towards her. It was clear her daddy’s friend wasn’t at all pleased to meet her. In fact, it had seemed to Mimi that in an ideal world, their meeting would never have taken place. Tucker had looked as surprised to see his daughter as his daughter was to see her daddy’s friend, which hadn’t made any sense since Mimi had spoken to her father just the day before and all the arrangements had been set.
But there he was looking as if he was suffering from a particularly bad case of IBS and had forgotten to take his Immodium, or whatever it was that you were meant to take when suffering from such symptoms.
“Hello, darling,” her daddy had said, grinning through his evident discomfort.
“Howdy, Tuck.” Mimi had always been on a first-name basis with her father, and ‘Tuck’ was her diminutive for him, one that he allowed her and no one else to use, or so he claimed.
“Mr. O’Donnell?” the airline minder had asked.
“Oh yes, yes, thank you.” Tucker fumbled in his pocket for a wad of cash that he deposited rather roughly into the airline minder’s hand. “You’re a doll. Thanks so much for the trouble. I trust my daughter behaved herself and you didn’t let her have too many Coca-Colas.
She went through a phase not long back where she was obsessed with those airplane Coke bottles. You know the ones, rather miniature…like this.” He estimated the length between his hands. “I believe they’re collector’s items.”
“Thank you, Mr. O’Donnell,” the airline minder said, no doubt dazzled by the amount of dollars she now gripped in her hand. “Your daughter was as good as gold.”
“Black gold I hope.” Tucker laughed uproariously, embarrassing Mimi because she knew he only laughed like this when he was extremely uncomfortable. “I mean, she is from Texas after All.”
“Sure, Mr. O’Donnell,” the airline minder laughed along. “I’ll be going now. Have a safe
Flight.”
Through the entire awkward exchange, her daddy’s friend had just stared at her: her brown eyes piercing and inscrutable. Mimi had stared back.
“Yes, well, shall we, darling? We don’t want to miss our flight.”
“Sure, Tuck.”
“Right. Just give me one second, darling. Erm…to say goodbye to my friend, who was so good to make sure I got to the airport in time. Just – erm – stand right there and I’ll be back before you can even say ‘tally-ho!’”
Another awkward laugh, more a guffaw this time. Mimi shrugged. She watched as her father took his friend by the elbow and escorted her across the hall to the windows. His friend continued to stare at her as she allowed herself to be led. Mimi waited. Her father and his friend exchanged some words, they embraced, and then his friend – who looked like she was crying – went through the automatic doors and disappeared into the line of people waiting at the taxi stand and Mimi never saw her again. Well, not in person anyway.
“Sorry about that, darling,” her father had said when it was just the two of them and a sense of equilibrium had been restored.
“Who was that, Tuck?” Mimi had asked.
“Who, darling?”
“That woman.”
“Oh?” Her father blinked in his blustery manner and shrugged, assuming an air of nonchalance that the twelve year-old Mimi didn’t buy for a second. “Just some copy girl from the bureau. My editor insisted she escort me from the office. He knows what a willy-nilly I am.
I’m hopeless. Put me in a room by myself and I’d never be able to find the door.”
“Why was she crying?”
“What’s that, darling?”
“What did you say to her to make her cry?”
“Oh, that. Oh, yes, well, it was her contact lens, I believe.”
“Her contact lens?”
“Yes, darling. An errant contact lens.”
And that was the story her father had stuck to.
Flash forward nearly twenty years and here Mimi was, sipping a cup of steaming Darjeeling tea in the only private member’s club in the world worth belonging to, at least as far as Mimi was concerned, and she was after all a bit of an expert on such things. She was nervous and excited and hopeful that her plan would go off without a hitch. Perhaps a whisky to calm her nerves? No, whisky made Mimi sloppy and sloppy was the last thing she could afford in front of Chloe Templeton at this stage of the game. For it was a game, Mimi thought. Life was a game. And in this game, there was only one winner. Mimi couldn’t afford runner-ups.
She glanced at her watch. Three twenty-seven. They’d arranged to meet at half-three. Of course there was no guarantee Chloe would even show. And Mimi conceded the premise of her request for this meeting was tenuous at best even though she and Tanner both agreed there
was a certain brilliance to it, however improbable. Ballsy, is what Tanner had called it. But then, Mimi had always taken pride in the size of her balls. She always claimed she had the biggest balls in the entire O’Donnell/McIntosh clan. Well, second only to Stella’s of course, but that went without saying.
The tea was pleasingly rejuvenating. It made Mimi feel English which made her feel like she was more than capable of launching the first foray into her assault upon the Templeton family. She knew from what she’d read that Chloe was the quintessential Tatler-deified “It Girl,” though as far as Mimi was concerned, Chloe was getting a bit long in the tooth to still be using that moniker. She’d also read there was another Templeton-in-waiting who it seemed was aggressively redefining English poshness even if her provenance was being questioned by some.
The young and sassy Tessa Templeton intrigued Mimi. She was the kind of girl that Mimi wouldn’t have minded buddying around with. She had a feeling – again based only on what she’d read as well as some of the photos she’d seen – that she and Tessa, if left to their own devices, could have a lot of fun and leave a lot of trouble –the best kind of trouble – in their wake. But she was getting ahead of herself. One step at a time.
Mimi wondered what time it was in Dallas. She was bored waiting. She wanted to call
Tanner. She missed Tanner when they were apart even though he pissed her off to high heaven when they were together. She was his yin to her yang, or something like that. And there was no point in calling Devontae. He wouldn’t have picked up anyway, too busy chasing pussy when
Mimi was away. The greater the distance between them, the less Mimi felt theirs was a
relationship worth sustaining. And besides, beyond his obvious attributes, Devontae really had
very little to offer her. Even his music was – despite Tanner’s best efforts, bless him – derivative.
He was no Stormzy, that’s for sure. So with no one to distract her, Mimi took another sip of her
Darjeeling and hoped Chloe wasn’t one of those types who took pride in being “fashionably late.” Mimi despised tardiness in others, much as she tolerated it in herself.
But thankfully she didn’t have long to wait. For right on the dot of half-three, Chloe Templeton strode into the tearoom at Annabel’s, dressed to the height of perfection – if somewhat predictably – in a black Chanel pantsuit and “sensible” black Celine kitten-heeled pumps. She looked flushed and out of breath and older in person without the gloss of
Photoshop: impressive yet, Mimi thought, not impenetrable. It was the spider’s web of wrinkles at the corners of each eye, and the slight fleshiness beneath her chin that belied her age. Still, it was important to take the upper hand from the start. Mimi didn’t believe in playing catch-up.
“Chloe?” Mimi asked. She stood up and with a smile as wide as the Lone Star State, she kissed Chloe on both cheeks while suppressing the urge to hug her. “I can’t tell you how excited
I am to finally meet you.” She also had to suppress the tendency toward a Southern drawl when she was nervous and, to her dismay, Chloe Templeton in the flesh made Mimi O’Donnell more nervous than Mimi O’Donnell would have ever cared to admit.
Chloe arranged herself on the chair opposite. She sat with her back ramrod straight, both feet squarely placed on the floor. She looked as though she had a stick up her ass or had inhaled a bad smell. Her eyes were damp – like she’d been crying. It was the smudged mascara that gave her away.
“I took the liberty of ordering tea,” Mimi chattered. “I hope you like Darjeeling. Shall I?”
Mimi poured without waiting for Chloe to reply. She willed her hand to be steady as she tipped the teapot over the cup.
“I can’t stay long,” Chloe said.
“I wouldn’t dream of keeping you,” Mimi replied.
“I don’t know if you’ve heard but my dear Papa passed away just the other day. It’s only been a week but it feels like a lifetime.” Chloe sighed. “I don’t know if you’ve ever lost anyone dear to you, but this kind of grief is prolonged torture. I don’t think I can bear it.”
“I’m so very sorry for your loss.” This wasn’t quite how Mimi had anticipated things. She pushed Chloe’s cup across the table, careful not to spill any of it into the saucer. “I’d seen some of the coverage on the telly. Your father was a very impressive man.”
“Yes.” Chloe dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief that Mimi recognized was from
Liberty, which seemed to magically descend out from under the cuff of Chloe’s jacket. “My father was an icon. Some of the press haven’t exactly been kind.”
Mimi nodded. Sometimes silence was best. Chloe picked up her teacup and blew on the steam. She appraised Mimi over the rim. There was almost a flash of recognition in her eyes, but mercifully just a flash. Mimi tensed. It hadn’t entered her plans that Chloe might recognize her, some twenty years after their one and only encounter at the British Airways check-in desk at JFK. Mimi didn’t have a Plan B.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe said after a pause, “have we met?”
“What? No, no, I don’t think so.”
“Hmm strange.” Chloe set her cup and saucer down. A frown twitched between her plucked and penciled brows. “I’m not in the habit of meeting strangers like this for tea. But lately I’ve been so betwixt and between I just don’t know where my head is anymore. And this whole disaster with my father and THAT WOMAN and now his will and how she’s taken everything – EVERYTHING! – I half wonder whether it’s time I offed myself with an overdose of Percocet and a strong gin.”
“Oh dear,” Mimi said.
“Not that I’m suicidal or anything,” Chloe continued, more to herself, Mimi thought, than to anyone. “I have to keep reminding myself of who I am and what my family represents. When you’re a Templeton, you have a certain responsibility – there’s an expectation that you behave in a particular way, a kind of decorum if you like. Unfortunately, my darling Papa lost his way a bit toward the end. He allowed himself to be led by dangerous outsiders who filled his head with all sorts of nonsense and we all just kind of stood there and let it happen. Of course, I can’t help but blame Diana for a lot of this mess. Well, she and that useless twat of a husband of hers: Duncan. But then I suppose I should also accept the burden of some responsibility, if only to be fair. I mean, in the end, it all sort of came down to me anyway. I cast the deciding blow.
It was my vote that banished Guy from the family. But I had to do it. I was left with no choice, veritably backed into a corner: strong-armed if you will.”
Mimi just sat there, taking in the spectacle without saying a word, not that Chloe ever took a breath to give Mimi a chance to get one in edgeways. But this was perfect in a way, Mimi thought. Chloe was quite inadvertently falling into her trap.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe suddenly stopped. She blinked and peered at Mimi, once again with a glimmer that hinted again at possible recognition, or a jogging of memory. Mimi held her breath. “I think I’m doing what the Americans call ‘over-sharing.’ I’m actually really quite reserved. What’s your name again?”
“Magnolia,” Mimi spluttered. Her mind had drawn a blank. “Magnolia Rose.”
“Magnolia Rose,” Chloe repeated to herself. “Hmmm. I suppose with a name like that if I had met you before I’d have remembered.”
“My mother is – was – of the dramatic persuasion.”
“Your mother’s passed on?”
Mimi didn’t know why she was lying. She thought of her mother then – the very much alive (though increasingly addled) Stella McIntosh – and felt a tinge of guilt at putting her in an early grave. She reassured herself with the belief that the less Chloe could find out about her background – living or deceased, “passed on” rather – the better. She had a feeling Chloe Templeton could be very thorough when she set her mind to it.
“Tragic and unexpected,” Mimi forged on.
“But death is always tragic,” Chloe said with a sniff, “except when it’s not.”
“Yes.”
“Well, I suppose at this point you have to tell me what happened.”
“Do I?”
Chloe frowned. Mimi gulped, all too aware of her gaffe.
“She was an actress,” Mimi extemporized. “Shakespeare was her thing. But she grew up in the North, you see…in a mining town…near Sheffield…”
“Have you been to Sheffield?” Chloe asked with a shudder that conveyed exactly how she felt about Sheffield and, Mimi didn’t doubt, about the North itself.
“I was born there.”
“Really?” The hard, quizzical stare again. “You know my father had a controlling stake in the football club Sheffield Wednesday for a time.”
“I…I didn’t.” Mimi gulped.
“Believe me, there’s a reason they call it the Black Country.”
“Indeed.”
“Why do I not detect even the faintest trace of a Northern accent?”
“Elocution lessons,” Mimi nearly spat. “Mother insisted I speak the Queen’s – or I guess now the King’s – English. It was a source of pride for her…especially when she fell upon hard Times…”
“Life upon the wicked stage,” Chloe said. “It no doubt catches up with you.”
“It was the gin that did it.”
“Mother’s ruin.”
“Let’s just say it did my mother no favors.”
“Hmm.” Chloe took a long, contemplative sip of tea. “Did your mother have as extraordinary a name as you?”
“Even more so.” Mimi found that she was warming to her fiction. The more she said, the more the gears of creativity kicked into motion. She almost couldn’t help herself.
“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you.”
“Try me.” Chloe’s eyes flashed in challenge.
Mimi hesitated. Then, in a burst of almost divinely inspired inspiration that she knew teetered rather precariously on the very edge of credibility: “Dallas,” she said. “Dallas Ewing. Like the American TV show. It was my mother’s favorite program.”
Chloe seemed nonplussed. “A bit before my time,” she said. “And your father?”
Mimi shook her head. “I never knew my father. My mother didn’t either.”
“Oh my.”
Mimi held her breath. She watched and waited, careful though not to appear too curious or eager. Things had already become more complicated than she’d anticipated, or welcomed, despite the fact that she was rather having fun. She couldn’t wait to tell Tanner the story she’d told the great Chloe Templeton about their parentage, or her parentage rather. Tanner didn’t figure into the equation.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe said after a pause, “Magnolia…”
“Or Maggie, if you’d prefer.”
“Maggie then.” Chloe sniffed. “I’m sorry, Maggie, I don’t think I’m at all clear exactly on why we’re meeting like this. I mean, it was in my diary, but to be honest, I’m not sure how it got There.”
Mimi suppressed a smile. She knew how it got there. Tanner had his uses. He was good with tech and things like that.
“I’ve been so busy,” Chloe continued, “what with all that’s happened with Papa and that woman and my foundation and the whole palaver with my brother, I don’t think I’d be able to find my own head if it weren’t attached to my shoulders.”
“Which is precisely why we’re meeting,” Mimi said.
“Is it?”
“You can’t possibly do it all on your own.” This was the part that Mimi had rehearsed: the sales pitch going in for the kill. “You know what they say, don’t you?” Chloe shook her head. Her bafflement was all too obvious.
“Behind every great woman is a great PA.”
“You mean like a personal assistant?”
“You need help, Chloe.” Mimi leaned forward. She clasped Chloe’s rather cold and bloodless hands in her own, half-expecting her to pull away, pleased that Chloe offered little more than a flinch and no further resistance. “You’re running yourself into the ground.”
“Yes, I suppose I am rather. I haven’t been to see my trainer in ages. There just isn’t time. Though I’ve had a mind to fire him. I don’t like some of his other clients, you see. Maximilian Porter, for example. Do you know him?”
“Of him,” Mimi said.
“Horrible little poof,” Chloe spat her distaste. Mimi took note, filing it away for a rainy day. “Maximilian cut me down when I was at my lowest. My nadir. Him and that sidekick of his.”
“Bree Armstrong?” Mimi had done her research. “I think she’s rather fabulous.” Chloe shot her a look. “I mean, I like her style, if you know what I mean.”
“Not really.”
An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Mimi’s mind raced. She hated silences. As someone who had never met an awkward pause in a conversation that she didn’t hasten to fill, Mimi wondered what it was about Chloe that intimidated her so. For that was indeed the word for it. Mimi was intimidated and she wasn’t someone who was easily intimidated. Throughout her many careers (albeit most of them too short-lived to really be called careers in the traditional sense) – including her rather scandal-plagued stint as KDFW’s substitute weekend sports presenter (where she’d been accused – not necessarily falsely – of trying to sabotage the return of Annabelle Murillo, KDFW TV’s reigning queen of sportscasters, after her hysterectomy – Mimi had always taken pride in what she considered an uncanny ability to carry herself with a certain amount of aplomb in the face of challenging circumstances and difficult people, a category that fit Chloe Templeton to a T.)
But there was something about Tatler’s former “It Girl” that had Mimi stumped. She sensed Chloe wasn’t falling for her in the way Mimi needed her to. What was she doing wrong?
Did Chloe suspect her of nefarious intent? Was there indeed a flash of recognition in the fixed but ambiguous way Chloe looked at her? But how was that even possible? Mimi very much doubted Chloe had seen any of her guest spots on KDFW’s Number One Sunday Sports Spectacular at 11 with Annabelle Murillo. And there was even less likelihood Chloe had tuned into a Dallas Cowboys halftime show when she’d been an alternate substitute cheerleader (always the bridesmaid never the bride!) even earlier in her career. Mimi thought back to that moment at JFK so many years ago. Was it possible that she had made as much of an impression on Chloe as Chloe had made on her? It didn’t bear thinking about. It simply wasn’t possible … or was it?
“I’m afraid I can’t stay,” Chloe said. She pushed her cup and saucer to the middle of the table and prepared to stand. “I’m confused and I’ve just remembered I have somewhere else to A very dear friend of mine is out of hospital today. I have to go to her. She’s staying with me while she recovers. I’m sparing no expense.”
Fuck!
“So you’ll have to excuse me.”
Mimi started to wonder whether she’d made a mistake in not having a Plan B. London was an awfully long way to come to find herself down for the count in the first quarter. (Mimi liked sports analogies.) It really was a shame about KDFW. But Annabelle Murillo (pronounced
Mureeeeeyoh with a dramatically rolled ‘r’) really was such an unforgiving cunt…and a drunk to boot. A pity Mimi hadn’t put two and two together until it was too late.
“Please don’t go!” Mimi hated the begging squeak in her voice.
“Excuse me?”
Mimi forced herself to take a deep and calming breath. Get a motherfucking grip, girl.
You’ve got this. Smile. You didn’t spend thousands on having your teeth capped not to show them off.
“What I’ve been meaning to say,” Mimi stammered, “or rather, the reason I wanted to
meet with you today is…” Gulp. “…I need a job.”
Chloe sat down. Score!
“You need a what?” she asked.
“A job.”
“That’s what I thought you said. Blimey.” Chloe adjusted the collar of her jacket, her composure clearly shot. Mimi gave herself a mental fist bump, her smile fixed and frozen, caps gleaming. She’d also been a toothpaste model.
“Well, that’s a bit presumptuous, don’t you think?” Chloe asked.
Keep smiling through the tears. That’s what they taught you on television anyway. Mimi had taken it to heart.
“How so?”
Chloe shrugged. She fluttered her hands in front of her face. She unbuttoned the top button of her blouse. Mimi knew Chloe was older than her, but didn’t think she was old enough yet for hot flashes.
“I don’t know.” Chloe looked as though she was about to cry. “I mean, I don’t think I’m hiring. No, of course I’m not hiring. Frankly, I can’t afford to hire anyone. That woman has cut off all my funding. S.A.S.S. is on its last legs unless I find investors. And there’s only so much I can accept from Spencer without it becoming even more awkward than it already is.”
“You don’t need to pay me.”
“Like an intern?”
“You can pay me in experience.”
She was coming round. Time to reel it in.
“Experience doing what?”
“Whatever you need. I’ll be your Girl Friday.”
“My what?”
“You’ve said it yourself you’re going through a challenging time.” Mimi felt that equilibrium had been restored. She was once again on top. “You’re not in charge of your own Diary.”
“No. I mean, yes, I did say that.”
“I have excellent organizational skills.”
Chloe blinked. She bit the edge of her thumbnail.
“Isn’t this when I’m supposed to ask you for a CV or something?” Chloe asked. “I’m afraid I don’t have much experience in this department. Where I come from, jobs are just kind of given out to the deserving, like patronage I suppose. And we don’t really call them jobs. They’re grace and favor. It must sound terribly feudal.”
“Your wish is my command.”
“Well, I suppose…”
“I have references too if you need them.”
“Papa always said I was too trusting. He said it was on account of me having a kind heart. I always look for the good in people, you see. But I’ve been burnt in the past.”
“I would never burn you.”
“Huh.” Chloe frowned and gave Mimi that look again.
Mimi’s smile was so broad she feared her face would crack.
“So what do you say?” Mimi asked. “Shall we give it a go?”
“But I really don’t think I can afford you. Even if you are…free.”295
“And I really don’t think you can afford not to.” Dramatic pause, then: “I hear Bree
Armstrong is on the market for a new PA.” Mimi didn’t know if this was true or not. It just seemed like the right thing to say.
“Really?”
Mimi nodded gravely.
“Well, in that case,” Chloe sighed. “When can you start?”
Magnolia Rose was all smiles.
The first thing Mimi O’Donnell did every time she arrived in London was take Darjeeling tea at Annabel’s. She didn’t particularly like tea – a longneck bottle of beer would normally have suited her just fine – but the beverage somehow helped her transition from Texas belle to English rose…well, half-English rose anyway. If there was one good thing to come out of her being the daughter of the esteemed British foreign correspondent and sometime television presenter Tucker O’Donnell, it was the privilege of being able to assume a British accent with some actual legitimacy, unlike other Americans she had known who had tried to pull off the same but more often than not ended up sounding more pretentious than authentic, or rather just confused. If there was one thing Mimi O’Donnell was not – at least as far as she was concerned – was pretentious. Or confused. It was the Texan in her that kept her grounded. She wasn’t Stella McIntosh’s daughter for nothing. And while she rarely kept anything from her mother, on this occasion, Mimi had opted to keep her travel plans a secret. That was the thing about her parents’ relationship. Mimi could never predict the dynamic between them. The last thing she wanted was for Tucker to get wind of her scheme and try to influence her otherwise. She was already regretting having said anything to Tanner. He wasn’t unpredictable as much as stupid and his allegiances were murky at best. Tanner did what suited him when it suited him. The family and the preservation of its integrity never entered his head. But Mimi, in contrast, liked to think of herself as being all about the family. That’s why she was in London now. It was for the integrity of her family that she was there to take Chloe Templeton – her daddy’s longest lasting paramour – as far down as she could take her, and by any means necessary. Mimi’s plan was contingent, of course, upon Chloe not recognizing her. But she didn’t think there was much chance of this happening. It had been years since the last time she and Chloe were in the same room as each other and that had been for only the briefest of moments when Mimi was maybe eleven, twelve at most. Tucker preferred to keep his many lives separate. He’d agreed to pick Mimi up at JFK en route to Heathrow and the summer Mimi was meant to spend with him at his family’s shooting estate in Aberdeenshire. Conveniently for Tucker – if not for anyone else – he’d been in New York “on assignment.” When Mimi had arrived off the plane from Dallas-Fort Worth, in the company of her airline minder, and met her father as arranged at the First Class British Airways ticket counter, he’d been in the company of an arresting yet deceptively mousy young Englishwoman wearing the most voluminous pussy bow blouse and a tartan mid-length skirt whose hem came down just over the top of her DuBarry’s. What had left the biggest impression on the ever-impressionable pre-teen Mimi were the boots, the tartan beret, and how cold the young woman had been towards her. It was clear her daddy’s friend wasn’t at all pleased to meet her. In fact, it had seemed to Mimi that in an ideal world, their meeting would never have taken place. Tucker had looked as surprised to see his daughter as his daughter was to see her daddy’s friend, which hadn’t made any sense since Mimi had spoken to her father just the day before and all the arrangements had been set.
But there he was looking as if he was suffering from a particularly bad case of IBS and had forgotten to take his Immodium, or whatever it was that you were meant to take when suffering from such symptoms.
“Hello, darling,” her daddy had said, grinning through his evident discomfort.
“Howdy, Tuck.” Mimi had always been on a first-name basis with her father, and ‘Tuck’ was her diminutive for him, one that he allowed her and no one else to use, or so he claimed.
“Mr. O’Donnell?” the airline minder had asked.
“Oh yes, yes, thank you.” Tucker fumbled in his pocket for a wad of cash that he deposited rather roughly into the airline minder’s hand. “You’re a doll. Thanks so much for the trouble. I trust my daughter behaved herself and you didn’t let her have too many Coca-Colas.
She went through a phase not long back where she was obsessed with those airplane Coke bottles. You know the ones, rather miniature…like this.” He estimated the length between his hands. “I believe they’re collector’s items.”
“Thank you, Mr. O’Donnell,” the airline minder said, no doubt dazzled by the amount of dollars she now gripped in her hand. “Your daughter was as good as gold.”
“Black gold I hope.” Tucker laughed uproariously, embarrassing Mimi because she knew he only laughed like this when he was extremely uncomfortable. “I mean, she is from Texas after All.”
“Sure, Mr. O’Donnell,” the airline minder laughed along. “I’ll be going now. Have a safe
Flight.”
Through the entire awkward exchange, her daddy’s friend had just stared at her: her brown eyes piercing and inscrutable. Mimi had stared back.
“Yes, well, shall we, darling? We don’t want to miss our flight.”
“Sure, Tuck.”
“Right. Just give me one second, darling. Erm…to say goodbye to my friend, who was so good to make sure I got to the airport in time. Just – erm – stand right there and I’ll be back before you can even say ‘tally-ho!’”
Another awkward laugh, more a guffaw this time. Mimi shrugged. She watched as her father took his friend by the elbow and escorted her across the hall to the windows. His friend continued to stare at her as she allowed herself to be led. Mimi waited. Her father and his friend exchanged some words, they embraced, and then his friend – who looked like she was crying – went through the automatic doors and disappeared into the line of people waiting at the taxi stand and Mimi never saw her again. Well, not in person anyway.
“Sorry about that, darling,” her father had said when it was just the two of them and a sense of equilibrium had been restored.
“Who was that, Tuck?” Mimi had asked.
“Who, darling?”
“That woman.”
“Oh?” Her father blinked in his blustery manner and shrugged, assuming an air of nonchalance that the twelve year-old Mimi didn’t buy for a second. “Just some copy girl from the bureau. My editor insisted she escort me from the office. He knows what a willy-nilly I am.
I’m hopeless. Put me in a room by myself and I’d never be able to find the door.”
“Why was she crying?”
“What’s that, darling?”
“What did you say to her to make her cry?”
“Oh, that. Oh, yes, well, it was her contact lens, I believe.”
“Her contact lens?”
“Yes, darling. An errant contact lens.”
And that was the story her father had stuck to.
Flash forward nearly twenty years and here Mimi was, sipping a cup of steaming Darjeeling tea in the only private member’s club in the world worth belonging to, at least as far as Mimi was concerned, and she was after all a bit of an expert on such things. She was nervous and excited and hopeful that her plan would go off without a hitch. Perhaps a whisky to calm her nerves? No, whisky made Mimi sloppy and sloppy was the last thing she could afford in front of Chloe Templeton at this stage of the game. For it was a game, Mimi thought. Life was a game. And in this game, there was only one winner. Mimi couldn’t afford runner-ups.
She glanced at her watch. Three twenty-seven. They’d arranged to meet at half-three. Of course there was no guarantee Chloe would even show. And Mimi conceded the premise of her request for this meeting was tenuous at best even though she and Tanner both agreed there
was a certain brilliance to it, however improbable. Ballsy, is what Tanner had called it. But then, Mimi had always taken pride in the size of her balls. She always claimed she had the biggest balls in the entire O’Donnell/McIntosh clan. Well, second only to Stella’s of course, but that went without saying.
The tea was pleasingly rejuvenating. It made Mimi feel English which made her feel like she was more than capable of launching the first foray into her assault upon the Templeton family. She knew from what she’d read that Chloe was the quintessential Tatler-deified “It Girl,” though as far as Mimi was concerned, Chloe was getting a bit long in the tooth to still be using that moniker. She’d also read there was another Templeton-in-waiting who it seemed was aggressively redefining English poshness even if her provenance was being questioned by some.
The young and sassy Tessa Templeton intrigued Mimi. She was the kind of girl that Mimi wouldn’t have minded buddying around with. She had a feeling – again based only on what she’d read as well as some of the photos she’d seen – that she and Tessa, if left to their own devices, could have a lot of fun and leave a lot of trouble –the best kind of trouble – in their wake. But she was getting ahead of herself. One step at a time.
Mimi wondered what time it was in Dallas. She was bored waiting. She wanted to call
Tanner. She missed Tanner when they were apart even though he pissed her off to high heaven when they were together. She was his yin to her yang, or something like that. And there was no point in calling Devontae. He wouldn’t have picked up anyway, too busy chasing pussy when
Mimi was away. The greater the distance between them, the less Mimi felt theirs was a
relationship worth sustaining. And besides, beyond his obvious attributes, Devontae really had
very little to offer her. Even his music was – despite Tanner’s best efforts, bless him – derivative.
He was no Stormzy, that’s for sure. So with no one to distract her, Mimi took another sip of her
Darjeeling and hoped Chloe wasn’t one of those types who took pride in being “fashionably late.” Mimi despised tardiness in others, much as she tolerated it in herself.
But thankfully she didn’t have long to wait. For right on the dot of half-three, Chloe Templeton strode into the tearoom at Annabel’s, dressed to the height of perfection – if somewhat predictably – in a black Chanel pantsuit and “sensible” black Celine kitten-heeled pumps. She looked flushed and out of breath and older in person without the gloss of
Photoshop: impressive yet, Mimi thought, not impenetrable. It was the spider’s web of wrinkles at the corners of each eye, and the slight fleshiness beneath her chin that belied her age. Still, it was important to take the upper hand from the start. Mimi didn’t believe in playing catch-up.
“Chloe?” Mimi asked. She stood up and with a smile as wide as the Lone Star State, she kissed Chloe on both cheeks while suppressing the urge to hug her. “I can’t tell you how excited
I am to finally meet you.” She also had to suppress the tendency toward a Southern drawl when she was nervous and, to her dismay, Chloe Templeton in the flesh made Mimi O’Donnell more nervous than Mimi O’Donnell would have ever cared to admit.
Chloe arranged herself on the chair opposite. She sat with her back ramrod straight, both feet squarely placed on the floor. She looked as though she had a stick up her ass or had inhaled a bad smell. Her eyes were damp – like she’d been crying. It was the smudged mascara that gave her away.
“I took the liberty of ordering tea,” Mimi chattered. “I hope you like Darjeeling. Shall I?”
Mimi poured without waiting for Chloe to reply. She willed her hand to be steady as she tipped the teapot over the cup.
“I can’t stay long,” Chloe said.
“I wouldn’t dream of keeping you,” Mimi replied.
“I don’t know if you’ve heard but my dear Papa passed away just the other day. It’s only been a week but it feels like a lifetime.” Chloe sighed. “I don’t know if you’ve ever lost anyone dear to you, but this kind of grief is prolonged torture. I don’t think I can bear it.”
“I’m so very sorry for your loss.” This wasn’t quite how Mimi had anticipated things. She pushed Chloe’s cup across the table, careful not to spill any of it into the saucer. “I’d seen some of the coverage on the telly. Your father was a very impressive man.”
“Yes.” Chloe dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief that Mimi recognized was from
Liberty, which seemed to magically descend out from under the cuff of Chloe’s jacket. “My father was an icon. Some of the press haven’t exactly been kind.”
Mimi nodded. Sometimes silence was best. Chloe picked up her teacup and blew on the steam. She appraised Mimi over the rim. There was almost a flash of recognition in her eyes, but mercifully just a flash. Mimi tensed. It hadn’t entered her plans that Chloe might recognize her, some twenty years after their one and only encounter at the British Airways check-in desk at JFK. Mimi didn’t have a Plan B.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe said after a pause, “have we met?”
“What? No, no, I don’t think so.”
“Hmm strange.” Chloe set her cup and saucer down. A frown twitched between her plucked and penciled brows. “I’m not in the habit of meeting strangers like this for tea. But lately I’ve been so betwixt and between I just don’t know where my head is anymore. And this whole disaster with my father and THAT WOMAN and now his will and how she’s taken everything – EVERYTHING! – I half wonder whether it’s time I offed myself with an overdose of Percocet and a strong gin.”
“Oh dear,” Mimi said.
“Not that I’m suicidal or anything,” Chloe continued, more to herself, Mimi thought, than to anyone. “I have to keep reminding myself of who I am and what my family represents. When you’re a Templeton, you have a certain responsibility – there’s an expectation that you behave in a particular way, a kind of decorum if you like. Unfortunately, my darling Papa lost his way a bit toward the end. He allowed himself to be led by dangerous outsiders who filled his head with all sorts of nonsense and we all just kind of stood there and let it happen. Of course, I can’t help but blame Diana for a lot of this mess. Well, she and that useless twat of a husband of hers: Duncan. But then I suppose I should also accept the burden of some responsibility, if only to be fair. I mean, in the end, it all sort of came down to me anyway. I cast the deciding blow.
It was my vote that banished Guy from the family. But I had to do it. I was left with no choice, veritably backed into a corner: strong-armed if you will.”
Mimi just sat there, taking in the spectacle without saying a word, not that Chloe ever took a breath to give Mimi a chance to get one in edgeways. But this was perfect in a way, Mimi thought. Chloe was quite inadvertently falling into her trap.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe suddenly stopped. She blinked and peered at Mimi, once again with a glimmer that hinted again at possible recognition, or a jogging of memory. Mimi held her breath. “I think I’m doing what the Americans call ‘over-sharing.’ I’m actually really quite reserved. What’s your name again?”
“Magnolia,” Mimi spluttered. Her mind had drawn a blank. “Magnolia Rose.”
“Magnolia Rose,” Chloe repeated to herself. “Hmmm. I suppose with a name like that if I had met you before I’d have remembered.”
“My mother is – was – of the dramatic persuasion.”
“Your mother’s passed on?”
Mimi didn’t know why she was lying. She thought of her mother then – the very much alive (though increasingly addled) Stella McIntosh – and felt a tinge of guilt at putting her in an early grave. She reassured herself with the belief that the less Chloe could find out about her background – living or deceased, “passed on” rather – the better. She had a feeling Chloe Templeton could be very thorough when she set her mind to it.
“Tragic and unexpected,” Mimi forged on.
“But death is always tragic,” Chloe said with a sniff, “except when it’s not.”
“Yes.”
“Well, I suppose at this point you have to tell me what happened.”
“Do I?”
Chloe frowned. Mimi gulped, all too aware of her gaffe.
“She was an actress,” Mimi extemporized. “Shakespeare was her thing. But she grew up in the North, you see…in a mining town…near Sheffield…”
“Have you been to Sheffield?” Chloe asked with a shudder that conveyed exactly how she felt about Sheffield and, Mimi didn’t doubt, about the North itself.
“I was born there.”
“Really?” The hard, quizzical stare again. “You know my father had a controlling stake in the football club Sheffield Wednesday for a time.”
“I…I didn’t.” Mimi gulped.
“Believe me, there’s a reason they call it the Black Country.”
“Indeed.”
“Why do I not detect even the faintest trace of a Northern accent?”
“Elocution lessons,” Mimi nearly spat. “Mother insisted I speak the Queen’s – or I guess now the King’s – English. It was a source of pride for her…especially when she fell upon hard Times…”
“Life upon the wicked stage,” Chloe said. “It no doubt catches up with you.”
“It was the gin that did it.”
“Mother’s ruin.”
“Let’s just say it did my mother no favors.”
“Hmm.” Chloe took a long, contemplative sip of tea. “Did your mother have as extraordinary a name as you?”
“Even more so.” Mimi found that she was warming to her fiction. The more she said, the more the gears of creativity kicked into motion. She almost couldn’t help herself.
“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you.”
“Try me.” Chloe’s eyes flashed in challenge.
Mimi hesitated. Then, in a burst of almost divinely inspired inspiration that she knew teetered rather precariously on the very edge of credibility: “Dallas,” she said. “Dallas Ewing. Like the American TV show. It was my mother’s favorite program.”
Chloe seemed nonplussed. “A bit before my time,” she said. “And your father?”
Mimi shook her head. “I never knew my father. My mother didn’t either.”
“Oh my.”
Mimi held her breath. She watched and waited, careful though not to appear too curious or eager. Things had already become more complicated than she’d anticipated, or welcomed, despite the fact that she was rather having fun. She couldn’t wait to tell Tanner the story she’d told the great Chloe Templeton about their parentage, or her parentage rather. Tanner didn’t figure into the equation.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe said after a pause, “Magnolia…”
“Or Maggie, if you’d prefer.”
“Maggie then.” Chloe sniffed. “I’m sorry, Maggie, I don’t think I’m at all clear exactly on why we’re meeting like this. I mean, it was in my diary, but to be honest, I’m not sure how it got There.”
Mimi suppressed a smile. She knew how it got there. Tanner had his uses. He was good with tech and things like that.
“I’ve been so busy,” Chloe continued, “what with all that’s happened with Papa and that woman and my foundation and the whole palaver with my brother, I don’t think I’d be able to find my own head if it weren’t attached to my shoulders.”
“Which is precisely why we’re meeting,” Mimi said.
“Is it?”
“You can’t possibly do it all on your own.” This was the part that Mimi had rehearsed: the sales pitch going in for the kill. “You know what they say, don’t you?” Chloe shook her head. Her bafflement was all too obvious.
“Behind every great woman is a great PA.”
“You mean like a personal assistant?”
“You need help, Chloe.” Mimi leaned forward. She clasped Chloe’s rather cold and bloodless hands in her own, half-expecting her to pull away, pleased that Chloe offered little more than a flinch and no further resistance. “You’re running yourself into the ground.”
“Yes, I suppose I am rather. I haven’t been to see my trainer in ages. There just isn’t time. Though I’ve had a mind to fire him. I don’t like some of his other clients, you see. Maximilian Porter, for example. Do you know him?”
“Of him,” Mimi said.
“Horrible little poof,” Chloe spat her distaste. Mimi took note, filing it away for a rainy day. “Maximilian cut me down when I was at my lowest. My nadir. Him and that sidekick of his.”
“Bree Armstrong?” Mimi had done her research. “I think she’s rather fabulous.” Chloe shot her a look. “I mean, I like her style, if you know what I mean.”
“Not really.”
An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Mimi’s mind raced. She hated silences. As someone who had never met an awkward pause in a conversation that she didn’t hasten to fill, Mimi wondered what it was about Chloe that intimidated her so. For that was indeed the word for it. Mimi was intimidated and she wasn’t someone who was easily intimidated. Throughout her many careers (albeit most of them too short-lived to really be called careers in the traditional sense) – including her rather scandal-plagued stint as KDFW’s substitute weekend sports presenter (where she’d been accused – not necessarily falsely – of trying to sabotage the return of Annabelle Murillo, KDFW TV’s reigning queen of sportscasters, after her hysterectomy – Mimi had always taken pride in what she considered an uncanny ability to carry herself with a certain amount of aplomb in the face of challenging circumstances and difficult people, a category that fit Chloe Templeton to a T.)
But there was something about Tatler’s former “It Girl” that had Mimi stumped. She sensed Chloe wasn’t falling for her in the way Mimi needed her to. What was she doing wrong?
Did Chloe suspect her of nefarious intent? Was there indeed a flash of recognition in the fixed but ambiguous way Chloe looked at her? But how was that even possible? Mimi very much doubted Chloe had seen any of her guest spots on KDFW’s Number One Sunday Sports Spectacular at 11 with Annabelle Murillo. And there was even less likelihood Chloe had tuned into a Dallas Cowboys halftime show when she’d been an alternate substitute cheerleader (always the bridesmaid never the bride!) even earlier in her career. Mimi thought back to that moment at JFK so many years ago. Was it possible that she had made as much of an impression on Chloe as Chloe had made on her? It didn’t bear thinking about. It simply wasn’t possible … or was it?
“I’m afraid I can’t stay,” Chloe said. She pushed her cup and saucer to the middle of the table and prepared to stand. “I’m confused and I’ve just remembered I have somewhere else to A very dear friend of mine is out of hospital today. I have to go to her. She’s staying with me while she recovers. I’m sparing no expense.”
Fuck!
“So you’ll have to excuse me.”
Mimi started to wonder whether she’d made a mistake in not having a Plan B. London was an awfully long way to come to find herself down for the count in the first quarter. (Mimi liked sports analogies.) It really was a shame about KDFW. But Annabelle Murillo (pronounced
Mureeeeeyoh with a dramatically rolled ‘r’) really was such an unforgiving cunt…and a drunk to boot. A pity Mimi hadn’t put two and two together until it was too late.
“Please don’t go!” Mimi hated the begging squeak in her voice.
“Excuse me?”
Mimi forced herself to take a deep and calming breath. Get a motherfucking grip, girl.
You’ve got this. Smile. You didn’t spend thousands on having your teeth capped not to show them off.
“What I’ve been meaning to say,” Mimi stammered, “or rather, the reason I wanted to
meet with you today is…” Gulp. “…I need a job.”
Chloe sat down. Score!
“You need a what?” she asked.
“A job.”
“That’s what I thought you said. Blimey.” Chloe adjusted the collar of her jacket, her composure clearly shot. Mimi gave herself a mental fist bump, her smile fixed and frozen, caps gleaming. She’d also been a toothpaste model.
“Well, that’s a bit presumptuous, don’t you think?” Chloe asked.
Keep smiling through the tears. That’s what they taught you on television anyway. Mimi had taken it to heart.
“How so?”
Chloe shrugged. She fluttered her hands in front of her face. She unbuttoned the top button of her blouse. Mimi knew Chloe was older than her, but didn’t think she was old enough yet for hot flashes.
“I don’t know.” Chloe looked as though she was about to cry. “I mean, I don’t think I’m hiring. No, of course I’m not hiring. Frankly, I can’t afford to hire anyone. That woman has cut off all my funding. S.A.S.S. is on its last legs unless I find investors. And there’s only so much I can accept from Spencer without it becoming even more awkward than it already is.”
“You don’t need to pay me.”
“Like an intern?”
“You can pay me in experience.”
She was coming round. Time to reel it in.
“Experience doing what?”
“Whatever you need. I’ll be your Girl Friday.”
“My what?”
“You’ve said it yourself you’re going through a challenging time.” Mimi felt that equilibrium had been restored. She was once again on top. “You’re not in charge of your own Diary.”
“No. I mean, yes, I did say that.”
“I have excellent organizational skills.”
Chloe blinked. She bit the edge of her thumbnail.
“Isn’t this when I’m supposed to ask you for a CV or something?” Chloe asked. “I’m afraid I don’t have much experience in this department. Where I come from, jobs are just kind of given out to the deserving, like patronage I suppose. And we don’t really call them jobs. They’re grace and favor. It must sound terribly feudal.”
“Your wish is my command.”
“Well, I suppose…”
“I have references too if you need them.”
“Papa always said I was too trusting. He said it was on account of me having a kind heart. I always look for the good in people, you see. But I’ve been burnt in the past.”
“I would never burn you.”
“Huh.” Chloe frowned and gave Mimi that look again.
Mimi’s smile was so broad she feared her face would crack.
“So what do you say?” Mimi asked. “Shall we give it a go?”
“But I really don’t think I can afford you. Even if you are…free.”295
“And I really don’t think you can afford not to.” Dramatic pause, then: “I hear Bree
Armstrong is on the market for a new PA.” Mimi didn’t know if this was true or not. It just seemed like the right thing to say.
“Really?”
Mimi nodded gravely.
“Well, in that case,” Chloe sighed. “When can you start?”
Magnolia Rose was all smiles.
Jon Malysiak is Head of Global Publishing at StoryTerrace, the London-based publishing house. He is the author of the Templeton Family Chronicles, a transatlantic satirical fiction series. He co-wrote the first novel, Posh, with his late brother Colin; following Colin’s sudden death he returned to the manuscripts a year later, and has completed the second book in the series, Trash, as both tribute and a way of processing his grief.
Jon Malysiak is Head of Global Publishing at StoryTerrace, the London-based publishing house. He is the author of the Templeton Family Chronicles, a transatlantic satirical fiction series. He co-wrote the first novel, Posh, with his late brother Colin; following Colin’s sudden death he returned to the manuscripts a year later, and has completed the second book in the series, Trash, as both tribute and a way of processing his grief.
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